“You Do Love Me” by Free and Fearless (A.K.A. My Daughter)

Katlyn came to me earlier this afternoon and said the Lord gave her another full song. Within 15 minutes she had it written out and a quick recording on my phone so she wouldn’t forget it. I’m in love with her relationship with Him and I’m totally blown away by her gift. This is the second song that has come to her in this way (though she’s written several songs over the years that I’m certain came from this same gift she has). She wants her songs to be a blessing to anyone who it might touch, so I’m sharing them before they’re in their finished product. ❤

Lyrics:
I’m alone, I’m on my own,
with nothing left, I regret.
They cast me away, and they say,
“No on will love you, now get!”

I run away, from all my fears,
spend everything, for what doesn’t matter.
I try to forget, try not to care,
that there’s a happily ever after.

Then You reach out and call me close…

I’m just a girl, with nothin to offer,
and yet You say, “Come my dear daughter,”
I back away, afraid it’s not true, then
You say, “I truly love you.”

I sit alone, a humble beggar,
in the dank, dark, empty cellar.
I know, that no one cares,
that I’m alone, sitting there.

The stench so familiar, it feels like home.
I’ve been there again and again.
I’m on my own.

You say that you love me, but it’s like a dream.
Something so distant, I’d buy it again.
but I gave away, everything.
I’ve got nothin to give to the King.
Yet you pursue me, again and again.

I’m just a girl, with nothin to offer.
And yet You love me, and say, “I’m right here,” I pull out my pockets, there’s nothin left, then I say, “I can’t accept it I fear,”

You say, “I’ll be waitin right here.”

I look around, for some pay,
but then You hug me, and You say,
“Darling child, I love you,”

“But I’ve nothin’ today”

You pull me close and say, “I don’t care,”

but then I break away, “That isn’t fair!
I’ve done nothing to earn this.
Don’t get me wrong, sounds like bliss.
Don’t choose me my life is false.
Please go choose someone else.”

And You say, “But I love you, too.”

I am a girl, with nothin to offer,
but all I need, is my Father.
He loves me, for who I am.
So take that my doubts. I say, “BAM.”

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“Standing By Me” by Free and Fearless (A.K.A: My Daughter)

In March, the Lord gave my daughter this song in a dream.  She (13 years old at the time), said she was in a band with her cousins, called, “Free & Fearless” as she played the guitar and sang the words into a microphone.  She asked that I make the songs public, though they are without music and her very first recordings, because she wants them available for people to listen to in case they need to hear what God thinks of them. I love her relationship with Him.

Standing By Me by Katlyn M.

Verse 1
When I hear the thunder,
thrown at me by life,
And I just don’t know,
how to deal with all the strife;
When all I see is rain,
crashing at my door,
And my heart is aching,
for what I don’t feel anymore;

I close my eyes, and I realize…

Chorus
All of my life you’ve,
been standing by my side;
All of this time you’ve,
been with me by and by;
And when the sorrows,
knocking at my door,
I will see that you are theere,
just like you were before;

Verse 2
The world comes crashing,
crashing all around me,
My eyes so full of tears,
that I can barely see,
I stand here, on my own,
just trying to make on glance,
Then you, walk over,
and you give me another chance;
You take the chains off of meee,
then all of a sudden,
I, am, free!

Chorus

Verse 3
Nothing, can stand in your way,
when you’re comin’ back for me,
You wipe away my tears,
so I can finally see!
(Softer)
I stand, free again,
from the sorrow and the chains.
I am, safe now, free now, loved now,
and here’s how…
because you’re with, me.

Well Worth All the Waiting

Today I enjoyed a strawberry, cucumber, and lemon infused water! Great for detoxifying the body (aka, living a healthy lifestyle without depriving my tastebuds haha). I recently did a Daniel fast and it ended almost two months ago.  Since then, I’ve seen how my eating habits contribute to so much of how I’m feeling on a daily basis. Meat, breads, and pasta being the top three issues for me. When I eat those three things, I experience inflammation in my joints and feel depressed, I feel achy, I feel bloated, and I feel run down and fall asleep in the middle of the day.

When I don’t eat those foods, I sleep better at night and I feel great. It’s so hard to say bye to certain foods that I love the taste of (grilled cheese sandwiches, buffalo chicken pizza, and baked mac n’ cheese just to name a few), but I really do love my bean burritos, salads of course, tostitos with homemade guacamole (I loooove avocados), clementines, and trail mix (just to name some things I get to enjoy).

Being a vegetarian was something I felt led to do when I was a teenager, but it was something I never had real understanding in, health-wise, so it only lasted a few months, and that was 15 years ago now. Nine years ago I felt led by the Holy Spirit to do as Daniel did in the Bible for a few days, then again for two weeks about seven years ago, and then again for 40 days around five years ago. Now having done it again for 40 days a couple months back, and knowing my body well enough, I see that I’m not deprived of anything while I’m on the Daniel plan… I’m fulfilled when I take care of myself and I enjoy life more when I feel better.

My youngest is 4½ months old now and I’ve lost 55lbs. I have to do some exercises to get my muscles back on track due to the diastasis recti, but I feel really successful in what I’ve been able to accomplish. It can be easy to be discouraged in seeing the number on the scale, or see my belly bump, or not be able to fit in the size I used to wear, but I don’t want to see any of those things as marks in my value or worth. I don’t want to view beauty as our culture views it. I don’t want to beat myself up when the reality is, I’m making smart choices and I’m taking care of myself. My heart desires to do good to others, to grow in maturity and love, to be healthier and stronger, and to become more and more intimate with Jesus as I walk this life out with my family. Those are the markings of beauty, and our worth and value, as the Lord has so clearly shown me these last few years, was created at the beginning of time in the heart of my Daddy God.

Next month we’re moving. We’re beginning our homesteading journey and over the next year we’ll be preparing to become more self-sustaining. We’ll have a garden, chickens, goats, and rabbits. We’ll work with my in-laws and be active, productive, and healthy. Our children will grow up living off the land, knowing what it’s like to get their hands dirty, exploring in the woods, and learning from their grandparents. I couldn’t be more excited! God is so good. So I’m sipping on my sweet water and thinking of all the amazing things we have to look forward to. Let’s do this, Lord. I’m ready to take this amazing next step on this journey. It’s been well worth all the waiting. It really has.

My Strivings in Being a Fruitful Vine

Hey friends! As I began processing through my sexual abuse a few years ago, this blog and my facebook page temporarily became a landing drop for the struggles I was having and information I was discovering along the way to overcome what I had been oppressed by for so long. God’s grace helped me through all of that and while I’m still working on things and still deal with anxiety and PTSD, I’m experiencing new victories every day and experiencing healing in different areas the more I allow myself to work through things.

I hope this blog and my page has been a place to find encouragement despite what hardships we face and I hope that it will continue to be so as I venture into other areas of my life! You see, I’m about to embark on a new journey – homesteading! My husband and I, with our seven children, are moving next month and will be building our home on an acre of property near my in-laws. We are thrilled to be taking this next step forward toward victorious living and this is what I created this blog for almost a decade ago now! To log my strivings in being a fruitful vine in my home!

I don’t know how much I’ll be posting, my goal is to do so regularly, but I hope that no matter what it appears to be, if anyone ever wants to reach out, please know I’m here and I’d love to hear from you! You can email me anytime as I check it daily/weekly. I’m never too busy to be there for others. Ever! It’s an honor to hear from you about what you’re working through and the Words you receive from the Lord as you experience your own victories in life! You are so wonderful and I’m so very grateful for all your support through these last few years!
God bless you! You’ll be hearing from me soon! 🙂

Peace, Joy, Love…

15 years since we said ‘I do!’
That’s 5,475 days; 131,400 hours; 7,884,000 minutes; 473,040,000 seconds and counting!
We have 7 children, we’ve had 10 addresses, and we’re moving again soon!
We’ve enjoyed many vacations; driving halfway across the country,
and our kids have loved 2 cats, 3 kittens, and 2 lizards.
Our house has it’s chaos, but it is full of love, hugs & kisses!

I’m so thankful for this man in my life and the Daddy he is to our children.
He’s my best friend, he’s loyal, and he works hard to support us in every way.
We haven’t always had it easy, but I am so thankful we grew together through it all.

Happy Anniversary, Chris!