Written Thursday, October 05, 2006
Description of Labor with My Second Daughter (DD#2)
Photo taken by A Lady in Training
I rushed in between each contraction to get my oldest daughter (DD#1) ready. It was time to send her off to see her Gramma, so that my husband and I could get to the hospital. They were three minutes apart so I moved very quickly. Also during that time, I packed a hospital bag hunched over in bellowing agony. I remained focused on the task at hand but the pain was strong. I felt like giving in and rolling into a ball on the floor, but I told myself, “the torture will be over soon since it is so unbearable” … or so I thought.
It was 7:30 when we left the house and headed off to the hospital. The contractions were on top of each other and I wondered if I could make it through the suffering. I remain focused, knowing I was the only one who would ultimately do this. We got to the hospital and soon after I began to cry out for comfort from my husband. He was right there and encouraging me along.
I couldn’t do it anymore. I just couldn’t do it. I wasn’t strong enough. “I’m not strong enough,” I said through the tears before asking for something to ease the pain. It wasn’t long after that I began feeling the high of the drug, and feeling exhausted and out of control. I felt sick.
Whispering through the exhaustion and contractions I spoke to my husband, “I don’t feel… so good…. I’m going… I think I’m going to be sick.” He announced this to the doctor. As the nurse got me a small bucket I heard the doctor say it was the Staidol, and then it came.
As vomit suddenly left my mouth, I missed the intended target and met with the bed and my left shoulder. Being at 8 cm dilated at this point, they feared moving me and subsequently placed a towel between me and the grape colored throw up.
Finally, after more than 2 hours of torment, I am finally allowed to push. I think inside my head, “it’s almost over.” I begin pushing as best as I can through my fogginess, dozing in and out of sleep in between.
It was hard to concentrate through my mixed disposition. I wished her here, but at the same time I wished I were never pregnant. Struggling with what was at hand I crumbled.
I remember bits and pieces of encouragement coming from my husband as I dozed in and out of consciousness. I just wanted to go to sleep. A sleep that would take away all the present emotions, physical horror, and mental strife.
What seemed like a lifetime later, a grueling and difficult 2 and a half hours later, I heard my husband say “She’s right there, just a couple more pushes, just a couple more pushes.” I started to cry again. I couldn’t, I was so tired. As the world seemed to rush about me, I was stuck in myself. Staring off as everyone was spinning.
“You can do this!”
I heard through the confusion inside my head. I pushed and screamed and pushed and screamed. It was over. I couldn’t believe this little girl was finally here. I thought she would never come and she was finally here.
Photo taken by my sister Sarah
This entire experience above was polar opposite to DD#1’s birth. I was laughing between contractions with her and truly enjoyed labor and delivery. I realized the next day how different my experience was than what you hear about (or see on tv). I was blown away that I had just given birth without drugs and that I only was in pain for a couple of pushes (though I thought I was in pain prior, once I had something to compare it with I could see that it was more of a localized discomfort through the contractions than “pain”).
With DD#2, I started with early visits with the dr (I was 20+ weeks with DD#1). The pregnancy seemed to last forever (my husband and I were also struggling because of a recurring issue in our marriage – that is thankfully no more), and at 39 weeks I got impatient and ate a ton of raw licorice (a “natural” inducer). I only influenced her into position prematurely which resulted in me laboring hard all week following as my body tried to turn her around (I knew nothing of what I could have been doing for it and was ignorant to the fact that she was posterior). A week after I took the raw licorice (on my original due date, 2 days after the ‘adjusted’ EDD), I went into extremely hard labor and essentially lost my mind. LOL I gave into the pain, fear, and exhaustion… nearly immediately after it began. After two hours of active laboring at the hospital and 2½ more in transition, I finally I pushed her out (as one of just 5% of women who deliver a posterior baby).
Photo taken by A Lady in Training
It was a terrible experience that followed with them taking her away because her cries were weak. I was unable to bond with her for her first hour as they x-rayed her and gave her oxygen (she had a hole in her lung likely caused by the distress of labor… had we known what we know now we never would have induced; if nothing else, we would not have cut the umbilical cord after her emergence and would have spared our precious baby who was only moments old of at least that trauma).
Unfortunately, we can’t change what she experienced, but God uses all things for the good of those who love Him, because it is from both birth experiences that led us to this amazing experience we are in at present. Our patience and longing for baby does not trump their safe entry into this world.
Praise God that we don’t get punished forever for immaturity, selfishness, and stupidity. Instead He takes us beside Him and uses it to teach and train us as the Daddy He is.