I Believe

In January 2005, 12 years ago, the Lord spoke to me through my father in-law. He said, ‘just believe.’ I didn’t understand. I had nothing I was obviously struggling with at the time and I told him I’d tuck it away and note it for a later date should it make sense for something the Lord planned to show me.

A few weeks later, I was in the throws of deep anxiety and had isolated myself from everyone. I wasn’t connecting with friends, I wasn’t going outside, and I was spending most of my time feeling apathetic and hiding behind the closed curtains in my home. It was a dark time for me but in my despondent state, I pulled out my Bible and told God I didn’t care anymore and I just needed a little reprieve. His answer? The story of the lame man at the gate called Beautiful in Acts 3.

As I read through the miraculous healing of this man who couldn’t walk and was carried to this gate each day to beg for money. As Peter and John walked on, they offered them what they had, reaching out his hand, Peter pulled him to his feet and declared in the name of Jesus for him to walk… and so he did. Immediately. No physical therapy or stretching; the man began to dance! He walked, he leaped, and he praised the Lord. I felt the Lord speak to me that He was doing the same for me… I wanted to think that could happen for me, and remembered what my father in-law said. I needed to ‘just believe.’ I wanted to just believe.

A week later, I read another story in my reading plan of a man who was healed and he jumped up and walked in Acts 14. I still wanted to just believe and I began saying it was so. I was healed and I would not be convinced that I wasn’t. A couple weeks later, I read the story of the synagogue ruler in Mark 5 that Jesus said, “Do not be afraid; just believe.” and I was adamant to not be afraid – I would boldly walk out of the familiar and comfortable to the uncertain, uncomfortable, and yet profound healing that God was speaking over me. I asked Him to help me believe!

A week following that, I read the story about the boy’s father who cried out to Jesus in Mark 9 and He said, “‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for him who believes.” The father realized his doubt and asked God to help him overcome his unbelief and I agreed with that prayer. I wanted to ‘just believe.’ as my father in-law had said. A week later I read of the centurion and the words spoken by Jesus, “‘Go! Let it be done just as you believed it would.’ And his servant was healed at that moment.”  

I believed that March day of 2005 and the journey over these last 12 years has been to continue to fight the lies trying to cause me to doubt the healing that took place. I was healed. I am healed. I stand firmly in that victory. I believed Him then. I believe Him now. I am healed. ♥


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