Last night Karyn gave me a hug and her eyelashes tickled my cheek. I began to sing butterfly kisses but couldn’t remember the lyrics and she asked what song it was so I played it for her. Her, Katlyn, and I were all bawling by the end of it and they both talked about how they never wanted to leave. LOL! It opened up a conversation about the future.
Karyn said she struggles with the idea of marrying because she’s concerned her husband will feel crowded with a big family. First of all, I totally chuckled on the inside, but then I told her that she can talk to the man before they marry and if he doesn’t want to be around a big family, she doesn’t have to marry him. She was relieved to hear that. Then after I explained that she doesn’t have to marry anyone she doesn’t want to be with, that some things she can compromise on, but there are some things she never has to compromise.
I asked her if she wanted a big family and she said yes, that she wanted many children, but she would want to take valerian root (it’s what I take) because she’d probably be pretty stressed out. LOL!! She said she hopes she is a mom like me in that I spend time with my kids and listen to them, that she loves on them and plays with them.
She said she also struggled with the thought of getting married and with having a lot of kids because she’d miss me and wants to spend time with me. I told her she doesn’t have to get married and have any children, but doing so doesn’t mean she can’t come see me. She will have her license and her own vehicle and be able to come see me whenever she’d like, and I can visit her too. I told her that she could come at any time and if it’s late, the kids can go to bed while we visit and she can either stay also or she can leave the kids until morning while she goes home to spend time with her husband. She liked that, too.
We then talked about what kind of man she’d want to be with and she talked about missionary work, hoping her husband would be in love with Jesus most of all. She then said she’d want him to be like Daddy, so I asked what kinds of character qualities like Daddy she’d like him to have if she could choose and what she said absolutely blessed my heart. She said she wants a man who is fun and plays with their kids; who would never leave them and would be loyal; that he would be honest, respect her privacy (that’s the word we’ve used to reference intimacy from since they were little), and that he would admit when he’s wrong, apologize, and be humble; that he would work with her and compromise, and of course that he’d have a beard. hahaha
Words can’t describe how much this little chat with her blessed my heart. Karyn isn’t really chatty about feelings or goals or desires, so I have never really known what she was thinking about certain things, but this conversation showed me the depth of the sweetness I knew was there. She’s growing up to be such a smart and lovely young lady.
Oh and I just recalled another thing she mentioned regarding being a witness to someone else being reprimanded by their parent and asked what she should do. I suggested as long as she was welcome to stay present to see it, that she could observe and learn from another person’s mistakes so she doesn’t have to experience the consequences of wrong choices. She said, “Yea! Then I can learn from watching it rather than doing it.” I told her how wise that is, but to be sure it’s always led by the Holy Spirit and not just what one person believes is right or wrong. She liked that…
I’m so blessed by my children. They are amazing human beings and I’m elated to be a part of their journey. What a gift I’ve been given to know them and to see their beauty blossom. I’m so so honored and privileged to be their Mama. I couldn’t be more thankful than I am in this moment. Thank you, Lord!!