True Beauty of a Woman

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a [meek] and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:3-4

Wives are to be meek and quiet. What does this mean?

*Meek: mild temper, soft, gentle, not easily provoked, or irritated.

*Quiet: peaceable, not turbulent, not giving offense, mild, meek, and contented.

Despite what many believe about these words, they are not contrary to the equality between men and women, they do not disregard feminine value, nor do they state in any way that women are unimportant. We are called to be like Jesus!

Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” Matthew 11:29

For I did not speak of my own accord, but the Father who sent me commanded me what to say and how to say it. I know that his command leads to eternal life. So whatever I say is just what the Father has told me to say.” John 12:49-50

I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.” John 14:12

“To disagree, one doesn’t have to be disagreeable.” Barry Goldwater

Disagreeable is defined as the following from Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913 + 1828)

1913 edition:

Dis`a*gree”a*ble (?), a. [Cf. F. désagréable.]

1. Not agreeable, conformable, or congruous; ontrary; unsuitable.

2. Exciting repugnance; offensive to the feelings or enses; displeasing; unpleasant.

1828 edition:

DISAGREEABLE, a.

1. Contrary; unsuitable; not conformable; not congruous.

2. Unpleasing; offensive to the mind, or to the sense; but expressing less than disgusting and odious. Behavior may be disagreeable to our minds; food may be disagreeable to the taste; many things are disagreeable to the sight; sounds may be disagreeable to the ear, and odors to the smell. Whatever is disagreeable gives some pain or uneasiness.

Having a meek and quiet spirit is choosing to refuse the disagreeable spirit as part of who you are.

As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.” Proverbs 11:22 (KJV)

Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.” Proverbs 11:22 (NIV)

A beautiful woman who acts foolishly is like a gold ring on the snout of a pig.” Proverbs 11:22 (CEV)

Discretion:

Original Hebrew Word: טָ֫עַם

Transliteration: taam

Phonetic Spelling: (tah’-am)

Definition: From ta’am; properly, a taste, i.e. (figuratively) perception; by implication, intelligence; transitively, a mandate — advice, behaviour, decree, discretion, judgment, reason, taste, understanding.

Braided hair and fine clothing makes a disagreeable woman beautiful no more than a gold ring in a pigs nose makes a pig beautiful.

An Anchor or a Sail…

The husband is to be the boat that carries the family and keeps them dry and secure while his wife is to be the sail… I don’t want to be an anchor anymore. I want to be the sail for my dependable, strong, faithful, and trustworthy boat. ~ Inspired by Chris W.

“When I throw the anchor out – I’m digging my heels into where God is leading [my husband] and our family. It can be something used in fear… I think the anchor can symbolize so much!!! I just think that the “sail” is an awesome word picture of what it means to be a helpmate.” Breanna Brummer

What Do I See…

Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples,  for I am faint with love.
Song of Solomon 2:5

What is Marriage: What Do I See?

I see determination and growth – striving to become what the other needs.

I see trust and respect – allowing God to do His good work in them.

I see adoration and authenticity – living in prayer, kindness; and faithfulness.

I see passion and love – seeking to always be humble, to forgive, and remember to fight the good fight in the Lord Jesus.

What do I see?  I see the love of two people, unashamed and true.

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. —Colossians 3:18-19

It Takes a Strong Woman

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” 1 Peter 3:7

What does this passage mean? Let’s break it down.

Weaker, from the Gk. word Asthenes (as-then-ace’), means feeble, impotent, sick, weak. It is from a (as a negative particle) and the base of sthenoo; strengthless (in various applications, literal, figurative and moral) — more feeble, impotent, sick, without strength, weak(-er, -ness, thing).

KJV translates this passage with “weaker vessel” which is from the Gk. word skeuos (skyoo’-os), in regards to implement, equipment or apparatus (literally or figuratively (specially, a wife as contributing to the usefulness of the husband)) — goods, sail, stuff, vessel.

So then, are we to see in the Word of God that women are without strength? NO! Read the passage – it says weaker not weak! Generally, women are weaker than men! Why is this such an issue? Why are many so adamant in their stance about being as strong as or stronger than men? Why does it really matter? Why does this equality (or superiority) to men ignite such fierce passion in so many women?

It takes a strong woman to get off their high horse and humble themselves when they’d rather express how self-sufficient they are. It takes a strong woman to be kind and gentle when they would rather make their point and prove their abilities. It takes a strong woman to put aside her own wants for the wants of someone else. These are NOT weak qualities! It takes a strong woman to submit, sacrifice, and give! It takes a strong woman to control herself. It takes a strong woman to care for the needs of her family.

It takes a strong woman.

Our role is precious and it’s hard work that is VALUABLE, IMPORTANT, and VITAL to creation and to God’s plan. Why women feel the need to take on a role that has been set apart for someone else is beyond me.

Not to compare the family unity to that of a business, but just to grasp the idea of responsibility and vitality in roles I am going to address this area. Consider a creator or owner of a business, generally his employees would cover a multitude of tasks – Human Resources, Accounting, Marketing and Sales, Operations, Administration, etc. God, as the creator of the family, has put the husband in charge of the jobs that must get completed efficiently and effectively, applying himself in the area of leading, providing, and protecting. He must lead by guiding, instructing, directing and counseling the family. He must provide by looking out for the welfare of his family in advance to specific dangers, to make ready for future tasks, to prepare for life, and to supply and furnish what is necessary for their needs. He must protect by defending his family, to guard, cover, and shield them.

In this role he will establish the roles of the wife in how she can help him accomplish these things. This will look different for every family. Just because a person is a manager of a business, does not make him more important or more vital to how the business will be run than those he delegates to, but he bears the responsibility of making sure the job is done successfully, orderly and without chaos.

Titus 2 gives a great glimpse into how wives will contribute to their own families. As younger women we are to strive to be as the aged women – learning by their examples to be godly wives and mothers; holy women of God. It tells us in verse 3 to have a visible demeanor of suitable behavior according to what is holy and reverent; being honest and refusing to make false accusations; not becoming intoxicated on wine; teaching what is worthy, right, and good. In verse 4 and 5, it goes on to say to be self-controlled, moderate in opinion and passion, and cautious with discretion; to love our husbands with affection and tenderness; to be tender and loving to our children; to be virtuous – modest, clean, pure; to be with devout reverence to God, our Lord; to stay at home for the purpose of keeping them clean and orderly, guarding what comes in and to keep watch over the family; and to be submissive to our husbands and help them in the way they need help (please see my post on submission). All of this so as to not disgrace, degrade, or blaspheme the Word of God.

Men and women are important – each job that they have is crucial to the functionality of family and how well it thrives. God truly knew what He was doing when He created man and woman. He has a flawless design for family. We can experience that if we’ll only surrender to it.

Obey God and Submit!

A lot of people get hung up on what the Bible calls for in a wife. Especially when stated for her to “submit” to the “authority” of her own husband.

Many get hung up on these words and have pointed their hasty and defensive fingers at Christians stating such words as though they had concocted them up themselves and even make declarations that women are equal to men in every sense and that women are not inferior nor second class citizens. What they don’t know is that this is not even close to what the Word of God is saying; nor many of the Christians who have such passion in Biblical womanhood.

First, submit and being submissive are defined as the following:

Gk. Hupotasso (hoop-ot-as’-so) – to subject, put in subjection: From hupo and tasso; to subordinate; reflexively, to obey — be under obedience (obedient), put under, subdue unto, (be, make) subject (to, unto), be (put) in subjection (to, under), submit self unto.

Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913 + 1828 ) says this about submitting:

“To yield, resign or surrender to the power, will or authority of another; with the reciprocal pronoun.”

Next, to clarify, the Word of God calls everyone to submit to the governing authorities (Romans 13:1-7), to one another (Ephesians 5:21), to Christ (Ephesians 5:24), and to our parents and to the Father (Hebrews 12:9; James 4:7). Even the master’s and rulers must submit (1 Peter 2:13-14) to those placed in authority above them no matter how high their position is! It is a calling for all.

This is the same type of submission we are to have with our husbands (Ephesians 5:22-33, Colossians 3:18-25, 1 Peter 3:1-7 etc.).

For those of us who see the value in God’s created order outside the home as well as inside, we desire to learn more about what God is asking of us, more than any worldly rights or establishments. In 1 Peter 3:5-6 we see how the women of the past presented themselves holy: by being submissive to their husbands and obeying them.

Obey is defined as followed:

Gk. Hupakouo (hoop-ak-oo’-o) – obey, hearken: From hupo and akouo; to hear under (as a subordinate), i.e. To listen attentively; by implication, to heed or conform to a command or authority — hearken, be obedient to, obey.

Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913 + 1828 ) says this about the word obey:

“To give ear to; to execute the commands of; to yield submission to; to comply with the orders of.”

Both obedience and submission is a choice of action; a yielding to. We are called by God (not man), to do both. It is because of this we should submit to the Will of God and do so. We should not disobey this calling because the world tells women we have the “right” and “freedom” to do as we want. God does not call us to live the lives we want or even to be who we want to be. He calls us for His righteousness. Which only results in something greater of ourselves than we had considered with what we wanted.

What about the wife of a man who is not submitting or obeying God? The Word says this:

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 1 Peter 3:1-2

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 1 Corinthians 7:14

If you married to a disobedient husband you are still to do your part. It is still your responsibility to obey and submit to God, even when your husband does not.

Those of us who have been raised with Christ are His chosen; His dearly loved and he commands us to clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience (Colossians 3:12). We are representing Christ with all that we do and are to bear the fruit that being in abiding worship results in:

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23a).

We, as Christian wives are called to have a sacrificial love for our husbands; the rarest of its kind with a willingness to sacrifice all and choosing never to see it as a sacrifice – this is the type of love God has for us. We are called to experience joy in our marriage; a cheerful and glad delight! We are called to experience peace; a rest and prosperity that only the love of Christ can give. We are called to have patience; to persevere through any painful trials without murmurs and discontent. We are to be kind and good and faithful; to express in our character usefulness, assurance, and loyalty. We are to remember that Christ came to serve and as such humble ourselves in gentleness. We are called to have self-control; the conscience decision to give ourselves to another, our husbands.

See this opportunity as a blessing. We get to live in a way that Christ did – love in a way that God does – and experience all that He is going to do! Praise God!

Special Friends

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

A husband and wife can face the challenges of the world together. God created Eve to help Adam.

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

As husband’s and wives we need to remember the valuable role we play in our spouses lives. We need each other to catch us when we fall. We need each other to stay comforted and warm; encouraged. We need each other to battle against the wicked schemes of the enemy.

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

Submission

“Love cannot remain by itself — it has no meaning. Love has to be put into action, and that action is service.” Mother Theresa

“To be completely clear, I don’t want us to be advocating anything to anyone. We should see ourselves in service to our community. Service is the opposite of advocacy. Service means listening closely, and offering help only when it is asked for. Advocacy communicates ‘we know better, let us help you.’ These are all wrong messages for us right now.” -Pierre Omidyar

“Love is the great transformer, turning ambition into aspiration, selfishness into service, greed into gratitude, getting into giving and demands into dedication.” -Anonymous

“The Bible is clear, wives are to “submit to their own husbands in everything“ (Eph. 5:22-24; cf. Col. 3:18; 1 Peter 3:1-6). This is not only true when their husbands are doing the ‘right’ thing, or even the biblical thing, but also when their husbands are being “disobedient to the Word” (1 Peter 3:1). Therefore, it doesn’t matter how much verbiage [wives] use to clean it up (i.e., I know this is my husband’s call, but I just…), they are still in danger of failing to walk in biblical submission.” Voddie Baucham

Summary of Submission Passages

A. Why must I submit?

1.. It is fitting and proper in the Lord: Col 3:18

2.. That The Word may not be dishonored: Tit 2:5

3.. It pleases God: Col 3:20

4.. Good and long life: Eph 6:3

5.. God will reward: Eph 6:8; Col 3:24

6.. Adorns the gospel: Tit 2:10

7.. Win to Christ: 1 Pe 3:1


B. How must I submit?

1.. With genuine respect: Eph 5:33

2.. In the fear of Christ: Eph 5:21

3.. With obedience: Eph 6:5

4.. With fear and trembling: Eph 6:5

5.. From the heart and soul: Col 3:22-23

6.. With a gentle and quiet spirit: 1 Pe 3:4

7.. With goodwill, as to the Lord: Eph 6:7

8.. Submit as though you were submitting to the Lord: Col 3:23

9.. Not eye-service but sincerely from heart: Eph 6:6; Col 3:22

10.. Well-pleasing and not argumentative: Tit 2:9

11.. To be ready to do any good deed: Tit 3:1

12.. With chaste and respectful behavior: 1 Pe 3:2

13.. Verbally accepting them as leader, boss, authority etc: 1 Pe 3:6 “Sarah called him lord”

14.. Clothing yourself with humility: 1 Pe 5:5


C. How far must I submit? “all things”

1.. Church to Christ: Eph 5:24

2.. Wives to husbands: Eph 5:24 “in everything”

3.. Slaves to masters: Tit 2:9 “in everything”

4.. Children to parents: Col 3:20 “in all things”

5.. Must submit even when mistreated and wronged: 1 Pe 2:18-23

6.. In all things not in violation or conflict to God’s laws: Acts 5:29