Every once in a while I think it’s neat to go into my blog statistics and see which entries are the most popular. This particular entry, “Do not go to bed angry” back from April 4, 2011, is at the top with most views since it’s been posted. In fact, I have 1-2 visitors every day who have found my blog searching for the following things:
- don’t go to bed angry bible
- scripture not to sleep.angry
- do not go to bed angry scripture
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I find it so encouraging that this particular entry is being found so frequently because it was something that I dug deeply into for myself during a really rough season in my marriage. It helped to see what the scriptures had to say about what I was going through and what to do. I pray it helps those who are finding it in the same way it did me, in their own search for answers. Since it’s so popular, I figured I’d make it more current so others can benefit from the entry as well. I pray my own personal hardships that I’ve overcome can help another who is in a similar hardship I’ve been in. ❤
“Do not go to bed angry”
April 4, 2011
There’s a quote I’ve heard often, “Don’t go to bed angry”. It has been used to express the importance of resolving issues before laying your head down to sleep. However, Biblically speaking, this is not all that this scripture passage is saying in regards to this issue. This phrase can be extracted from part of the verse, Ephesians 4:26 (do not let the sun go down on your wrath). However, the verse in its entirety states, “Be angry, and DO NOT SIN’: do not let the sun go down on your wrath” (emphasis mine)
It’s important to note that the first part of this passage is referencing the Psalm where it states “Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. Selah” (verse 4:4)
Breaking this verse down we read that should we be experiencing anger, rage, or provocation, we are not to cause harm and bear the blame. We are to challenge and command ourselves to work through it inside our hearts and wait in silence. (Bible.cc)
Continuing on with the passages in Ephesians carries this even deeper.
“‘Be angry, and do not sin’: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil” Ephesians 4:26-27
The word angry in the first part of this passage is from orgizó and it’s what is considered “unnecessary anger” that punishes the offender rather than the moral content of the offense. The second part of this passage states “do not let the sun go down on your wrath”, wrath is from the Greek word parorgismos which means irritation, bitterness, exasperation. Thus we see that not allowing the sun to go down on our anger is intensely simplifying God’s Word and misses the mark altogether.
It’s been understood in the world that the phrase “Don’t go to bed angry” means that we are to resolve all issues before we lay our heads down at night. However, this does not mean that we “fight it out and allow ourselves to be out of control and hurt one another until we get somewhere with it.” NO. Reading further we see this:
“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” Ephesians 4:29-30
Let no worthless and useless expression of thought burst forth in your speech, but speak good according to God (from agathos meaning God empowering one’s life in their faith), to help build up to be a suitable dwelling place for God, that it comes as kindness, favor, and grace to the one you are speaking with. (Bible.cc)
So, we do not fight and argue and call names in our out of control state. We take control and we challenge ourselves to work through our anger silently so as to speak forth helpful truths to those we speak with. But it doesn’t stop there.
“Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32
Do not hold onto resentment in your spirit, remove the impulsive outbursts of passion, control your passionate feelings against sin, end the loud screaming against one another, and do not be slow to call something good that is good and bad that is bad along with all viciousness and spite. Instead! Be useful to one another, compassionate and merciful, show favor and pardon one another, just as God has forgiven you! (Bible.cc)
“Do not go to bed angry” is an understatement and vastly loses the meaning in these powerful passages. “Do not go to bed angry” leaves too much room for sin to reside and for men and women to distort it for their own benefits. God’s Word says it best and THIS is a healthy portrayal of what relationships should look like.