That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:4-5
The following story was shared on a message board I frequent:
“A friend of a friend was to teach a class to some young teen girls. Before class, she baked up a huge pan of gooey sweet cinnamon rolls right next door to the classroom. The girls filed into the room and their mouths immediately started to water. They could see those rolls, still steaming and all heaped upon a lovely platter. They could smell thier spicy goodness and they just KNEW that they were for them. Why else would they be there?
It wasn’t long before someone came right out and asked when they were going to get one and the teacher said, “The rolls? Oh, those aren’t for you. I baked those for my family.” Mouths hung open in shock. How MEAN!
“But they smell so good!” the girls groaned.
“They sure do but they’re not for you. They’re for my family.”
Mouths continued to water, eyes continued to drift over to the taunting platter.
And that was how this teacher launched into a serious discussion with these girls about what a man goes through when a woman is not dressed modestly.
I thought that this was such a powerful analogy, using the senses to really drive it home. And the funny thing? The teacher really never did give those girls the rolls.”
We must remember that though men are in control of their actions, we have choices to make that will either help or hinder them. Do we want to make it harder on them or do we want to help our brothers in Christ?
Our bodies are temples where the Holy Spirit resides. We need to remember that it’s not just for our brothers in Christ but is ultimately a purity of what is sacred in the eyes of God. Let no sexual immorality be among us! Flee from temptation and remember you are not your own but were bought at a price (Matthew 5:28; 1 Corinthians 6:12-20)! And remember it is sinful which is not from God but from the world (1 John 2:16).
You can’t control anyone else’s thoughts, struggles or actions, but you can make a difference in how you control yourself and you can help in what ways you are able. Below is a survey that our brothers and sisters in Christ have comprised. I hope you benefit from it as I have. God bless!
- Please, approach the survey as a resource, not a list of rules.
- Always honor your parents above the results of the survey. (Ephesians 6:1-3)
- Seek personal feedback on your attire from the godly men and women in your life.
- Remember, modesty is first and foremost a matter of the heart, not the wardrobe.
- Faithfully pursue the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. (1 Peter 3:4)
- Let your good works outshine your outward appearance. (1 Timothy 2:10)
- Dress for the glory of God. (1 Corinthians 10:31)
Please view this survey while keeping this in mind:
When approaching the results note that 1.7% of the guys surveyed feel strongly that girls shouldn’t show their calves. Is it now Burkha Day for all well-meaning Christian women? Absolutely not! In reading through the survey, you might have trouble finding a single item of clothing that someone, somewhere, doesn’t have a problem with. So where do we draw the line?
Well, the fact is that 98.3% guys DO NOT feel strongly that girls shouldn’t show their calves. If you look at the survey results you will find that 99.9% of the guys take full responsibility for themselves, and don’t expect women to cover every inch of skin — they’re just asking for help.
The honest truth is this: We’re not telling you what to wear — we’re just telling you what we, as guys, have to guard against. It is God’s Word, your own heart and conscience, and your parents and godly friends who should help you decide what to do about it. But, to help you reach your own conclusions we’ve provided some excellent resources that strike a balanced, non-legalistic tone. Click the link to please take the time to explore these resources.